Thursday, April 30, 2009

Gwyneth's Scary Start

This is Gwyneth's Special Week, which explains all of the old pictures of her! Everything went GREAT with Gwyneth's birth. She was a scheduled c-section, and my 3rd, so I knew exactly what to expect. John and I joked around with my Dr and the nurses. It was really neat! She was born on Thursday, and everything was going well. On Saturday (my 30th bday), my doctor said that he'd write my release papers so I could go home, which was early. I was excited, I just had to get Gwyneth's release papers, and we were headed home! All of a sudden, (John was out running an errand, Tiff and Jim were up visiting,) a nurse walks in and said that Gwyneth's biliruben (sp?) numbers had shot up an extremely high amount, and she would have to be taken to the NICU right now. I started bawling-what a drastic change from a little while ago when I thought I was taking my baby home! Her numbers kept going up, but eventually leveled off and started dropping. I know this scenario isn't too unusual. But, it didn't make her any less pathetic, and me any less sad!

The next day, John and I met with the doctor who said that her levels were much better, so they weren't concerned anymore about them. However (I always hate it when they say this), they found a heart murmur when they were checking her. My heart dropped- Everything in the next day is kind of blurry. We met with doctors, and they said that they were *probably* holes that had not shut properly, and would *probably* resolve themselves without treatment. But. It could also be a dysfunctional heart with surgery in the future-and a transplant down the road-with a very sick little girl. They would do an echocardiogram in the morning to determine what it was. Our families flooded to the hospital, and I felt their love and support in so many different ways, and I am so thankful for all of them. In my room that night after everyone left, though, I realized that God is the only One who can meet all of our needs. Only He can comfort us deep within. Yes, he blesses us with family and friends who are his hands and feet in doing this, but when it comes down to it, God alone fills all of the holes that are left. His grace is sufficient for every need. I was reading in my Bible this morning, and these verses stuck out to me, and I wrote them down. "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning, Great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I hope in Him" -Lamentations 3:22-24 That night, I turned Gwyneth over to God, and put my full trust in Him. The rest of this story is that they were sort-of normal holes that usually resolve on their own without treatment, and they did within 2-1/2 weeks! Praise God! But, I think of so many times that these stories don't turn out this way, and when they don't it is great to know that through the Lord' s mercies we are not consumed. God's compassions fail NOT! I think that God put me in that place so that I realize that He IS in control, and I CAN trust Him, for everything.

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